Hope and The Dirt Path 

I kept asking myself.  

“What’s really keeping you from the life that you want and deserve?”

” What changes do you need to move you forward?” 

Be still and listen. 

There’s hope. 

With Hope, anything can be transformed. I understand that now. Until recently, all I knew was false hope. A dangerous thing, belief in someone or something that ultimately turns out to be fruitless. An exercise in fooling yourself or someone else. So, I avoided it. Hopeless, it was my intention to not see 35. I am 38 this year and this month makes three years since I embarked on a new road in this journey that is my life. Since then, I have been reintroduced to true hope; how to have it, and what it means to have it. Having hope, for me, is an act of gratitude. A way of saying to God/the Universe that you are not just ready for the things that he has for you but you are grateful for your gifts. It is not enough to simply nurture your gifts. Hope is meditation, manifestation, smiling and continuing in the face of adversity, taking the next step even when you’re terrified, believing in yourself and what you are capable of. This makes sense to me. So much so that as I embrace and understand living in hope I see a change in my life. A shift in happiness.

The other day I realized that the road which was sometimes just a long stretch of dirt path that exposed me to all of the elements was the only way to where I am now. It is that road where I have honed the skills that have become the tools with which I go through life. Practicing hope led me to clarity, understanding and compassion. Love and partnership has a deeper meaning for me now. The absolute necessity of self- care. The true definition of no; that it is a complete sentence with no required explanation. Mindfulness, being present in the moment is as essential as celebrating love and life. Releasing those things that no longer serve me; including attitudes about life and changing my narrative. I discovered that I had been maneuvering life expecting the negative and hoping for the best unnecessarily. That I had been on autopilot always on guard when there was no reason to be. I was actively engaging in self sabotage. I was missing the point. Life is to be thoroughly enjoyed. I did not recognize that I had the power to build such a life for myself, that I, was in my own damn way. I set new intentions and started creating my happy life. The universe is so pleased that I finally got with the program. That I finally understood. I am in the right space at the right time. My life is filled with so much love, I forgot what it felt like to be loved like this. I sit reflecting on that lonely time. When I was completely exposed on that dirt road. Convincing myself to settle for something that could be maybe kinda sort of looks like love. Where you have to stand on one leg, clean a dirty house, dumb yourself down, carry insecurity and lack confidence to see it, only to be unceremoniously dissed and dismissed. Talk about rose colored glasses. It was the catalyst that set me on this path where I am able to use my gifts to be the change. I am grateful that I lost hope. Without losing it I would have never grown into this renewed sense of hope that allows me to be great.  

The best way to test your breadth of knowledge is to successfully share it with someone. If you can share what you learned in a way where you are completely understood and the recipient can apply that information to their own life. Then you did it. Yay! Some people call it testimony. It is my truth. Take the time to survey your life and see your growth. Celebrate what you have accomplished. Where  you are in the journey. You get caught up in doing, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other that you miss the milestone. It starts to look like you’ve accomplished nothing. You decide that you’ve been treading water or running in place. Behold your growth.  You are not where you once were but closer to your destination.

Here’s to hope…there it is. Hold on to it.

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