I must admit that lately I have been quite lazy when it came to posting. I ran into writers block. Nothing seemed to fit or make sense. I started looking over other things that I’ve written and began to fine tooth edit those. It was just a distraction from all those words that were piling up in my head, stuck behind the block of frustration. I am not going to go into the hours of self loathing and procrastination and general tomfoolery that has ensued in pursuit of literary greatness. I kept getting this message about my iCloud storage being almost full. Finally I investigate. If only just to stop the damn message from coming up everytime I take a damn picture. Things have to be deleted. I have several writing apps and while there is some overlap, they each house different pieces. Poems, rants, musings, unfinished essays and ideas and the younger less wise me. Less wise. Does that make sense? Every day I grow into some new understanding which makes the me of yesterday not so wise. Ha! Less wise. I guess. I did not feel like moving writings from one app to another. So I just deleted pieces that are no longer relavent enough to take up my precious iCloud space. Those were mainly rants where I was trying to understand. Here’s what I understand. Boys are stupid! No really. I had a rough time last summer because of a boy. Reading those words I realize that I was being stupid. You know the kind. That stupid that happens when you know better but because loneliness sucks and it kinda feels alright you do it anyway. Now, he is still a stupid guy. And how everything played out was unexcusable. I take responsibility for the part I played in the short-livedness of the “friendship”. Turns out he was no friend of mine. I wanted more than he could or was willing to offer me. It’s ok now.
In my virtual pile of writings I found, hidden among the rants and musings, a poem. I don’t write poems like I used to. This was written during my stupid era. I thought I would share. Plus this space is another place to stick my writing until I decide to sign up for more iCloud storage
Something Profound, You Should Meet Her.
You can look at her, see she’s in pain.
You just don’t recognize it.
There’s something about her.
The way she moves, deliberately precise, she attempts not to fall.
Trying to keep it all together
There’s fragility in her poise.
Proper questions will ignite spells of tears.
She’s a fighter.
It takes both everything in and out of her.
She hides. Seeking solace in places that are dark. And quiet.
To achieve balance is difficult. To maintain it, is delicate.
She fights. Vehemently.
Then retreats to that dark quiet space to lick her wounds.
Bruises heal and scars can be covered.
Weakness is but a thin veil-like covering.
Burnished in hue. A neon.
Everyone sees it. But, they can not name it.
Her pain is as beautiful as her smile; infectious with her laughter
Intense as she stares off. Deep in thought when the pain starts to rise again.
Peace. Be still. Still, still.
Balance and stay still.
She is perfect and incomplete.
She is Something Profound.
You should meet her.