There was this guy I dated. The sex was good. The conversations were fun. But, something was weird. I always found myself covered in a layer of detachment after sex and while conversations were interesting and entertaining they were usually peppered with hints of indifference. It was like he was trying match wits with someone who is more intelligent than him. Things were off. Turns out that he was just a guy. Not quite a man; definitely not my man.
This is not an attempt to drag that guy through the muck; rather it is a celebration of those manly things. Ultimately, he just was not the man for me. Now, for that man… I wait. I feel that there are certain behaviors that strongly suggest manliness. Some simple, easily recognized, while others if you’re not paying attention, will be overlooked. Say for instance, holding a door open for you is one thing. But when we walk through a crowd and he’s right behind me, hand at the small of my back, guiding me safely to the outside and not five steps in front of me. That’s something a man does.
I can wear any heel I please, No. I will wear any heel that he finds sexy because he holds his arm out to support me as we walk over cobblestone, marble, uneven brick and down stairs. A man to my woman, he knows how to wear a suit. Pant leg hitting the shoe perfectly. The importance of a timepiece is not lost to him. A man is confidently stylish, he doesn’t follow the crowd.
instills a certain confidence and security; to him I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I know he be checking me out when I put my heels on. With a momentary stare of intensity he makes me feel like a full woman. Sensual, desired and delicate.
Is well versed with perfect timing, knowing when to be gentle and when to grab me and flip me over. It’s a guy’s task to attempt to beat it up and see what he can get you to do. A man will simply make sure that you are pleased.
concerns himself not with my past, but with our future. He is the biggest fan, balancing me with inspiration and grounding. When I am frustrated, upset or stressed, he will get to the bottom of it, doing what he can to fix it.
my partner, anticipates those needs I haven’t quite got to yet. Together we define team.
Notices the things I do for him no matter how small. Letting me know he appreciates it in his own little way.
lets me know that he has my back. I mentioned family issues he said “ don’t worry, I’m your family.” The other one was like “eh, why don’t you just talk to them.”?
doesn’t take up space, he stands in his place.
keeps his word and if for any reason there is a complication he makes me aware and does his best to find another way. No shrugs here.
walks into a room with this undeniable confidence. It draws you in, something about him. His smile, calm spirit and ability to win over everyone in the room without trying. Not flashy, offending your eyes and ears, calling attention to himself as the loudest nigga in the room.
respects my ability to be his friend, support, confidant, whore and lady. Allowing me to take care of his needs and be his rib.
is my protector, nurturer, lover, friend and hero.
A man makes you want to be more. For him I want to be more. I don’t know what more is but he makes me want to be it. Still what I am is all right with him.
doesn’t struggle to meet basic needs. Everything is in order so he makes sure that you have nothing but the best. Nothing is too good for his baby.
faces obstacles head on with you pulling together to find the ideal solution.
is an example to his children, setting the standard, showing his sons the importance of being a man and his daughter what a real man looks like.
Real talk, he makes you want to walk up to him, pull his dick out, suck it until he comes, get up, smile, wipe your mouth and then walk away.
Your kisses are worth waiting for, believe me, Ain’t misbehaving I’m saving my love for you. © Ella Fitzgerald