It was gross having him on top of me.  He tried to kiss me I moved my face away from his. That was sacred space. I should have not been there in the first place. Desperation and the need to have my pussy sucked on driving force. Trust me when I say it wont happen again. In fact this is the one and only time I will acknowledge that it even happened. Neither one of us has spoken about it since; actually we haven’t even spoken to each other since. Part of the reason why I shouldn’t have allowed it to take place in the first place. I am glad we haven’t said much to each other. I’d really rather not. There is nothing to say. He is not him. Him is not him right now, but him, I only want. In the meantime,  those drunken kisses of his landed on my neck, in between my breast, on my stomach and between my legs.  My body turned on me starting without me. Giving into the desire and need to be touched, caressed, felt and admired. Even if it was fueled by his drunken aggression. He is an alpha man, he refuses to allow himself emotion, empathy eludes him, sympathy doesn’t make sense to him and the only way that he can try to make you feel better; the only way he can control your reaction to the storms happening, both literally and figuratively is to fuck the shit out of you. His attempt at being gentle coaxing me into being his for the moment with caresses was followed by the jamming of his large two- toned dick inside of me. It was struggle at first, but he got in and my body went for it. The set up.  I was duped.
 I started trying to convince myself. Him. Him is not the him you want. Him. Him and I aren’t really together. HIM. DAMN DAMN DAMN HIM. It should be him on top of me. It is him, who makes my body move and respond with the touch. The person encouraging the arch in my back needs to be him. My legs are supposed to be wrapped around him. All the while, he, has me confused. I didn’t want to be there, in his bed, yet the security of his body heat convinced me to get comfortable. I’ll gloss the fact that he picked me up and brought me to his house. I was stuck there. I would for the rest of the stormy night, be subject to his deep thrusts, suckings, fingerings, grabs, my wetness and his hard. For the rest of the night, I was, as much as I tried to deny it, all his. 


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